Jessica Says: My Reality Behind Lies, Truth, Trust, & Forgiveness

UPDATED JUNE 5, 2012:

• Edited title and added words.

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NEXT CONVICTION :

While chilling with a friend yesterday, we somehow got on the topic of our classes together during the recently ended semester at university and the fact that when I doodle in classes out of boredom or for no reason, I draw eyes and then half faces, sometimes full faces. I randomly asked her if she thought that meant anything, as she tends to draw mazes (that generally do not have actual endings haha...) or very artistic angular designs. So we decided to look it up on some computers and we found that the results were very interesting.

One of the main reasons why it is psychologically believed that people draw eyes randomly or instinctively is because they value

TRUTH,

as eyes are the doors to the truth, what we perceive to be truth, and what others perceive to be truth.

Drawing half faces, I believe, after drawing a single eye, can be said to show the discomfort of the fact that no human being is ever entirely truthful, as we are human, after all.

And it made me think:

One of the things I value most is truth, as that is a major component of trust and reliability in human nature and what I look for in people, as I don't just trust anyone (don't get me started on "group projects").

So why do people choose to lie to me or about me or about someone else, even if I know the truth, we both know the truth, or everyone knows the truth? Why is this so common and silently acceptable in society?

Also, something to note is that this blog post is not about anyone particular person at all. It is simply about my convictions with lies, truth, and forgiveness (I don't want anyone to feel guilty or anything here, okay?), all starting after reading some stuff on the internet yesterday with my friend.

Awesome chalk artwork my friend and I did on her birthday

WHY DO PEOPLE LIE? :

As taken from this website:

"It boils down to the shifting sands of the self and trying to look good both to ourselves and others, experts say. 

'It's tied in with self-esteem,' says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels."

Not all lies are harmful. In fact, sometimes lying is the best approach for protecting privacy and ourselves and others from malice, some researchers say. Some deception, such as boasting and lies in the name of tact and politeness, can be classified as less than serious. But bald-faced lies (whether they involve leaving out the truth or putting in something false), are harmful, as they corrode trust and intimacy—the glue of society."

The seemingly corrupted human condition is that even though we all may appear to be horrible creatures, we are not.  As a species, we have crafted this technique of understanding our thought processes as we need to find a way to protect ourselves from condemnation from all. Sadly, even though it can negatively and drastically have a dramatic effect on others' lives, "denial, evasion, and lying" have become unavoidable features of human behavior. We are all fundamentally not bad creatures, as I somehow remember learning in Philosophy at 8 in the morning one semester. Still, because of all that encompasses human behavior, we remain the most destructive and malicious force our world has ever sadly or happily known.

But lying can still hurt.

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JESSICA SAYS :

As I stated, remaining true to what I perceive as being true is one of my very strong convictions. I stand and fight for what I believe to be true, as it is something I have always valued in others whom I have grown to respect and trust, as I give the same in return. This is obviously a conviction of mine that is linked to the concept of humanity, as I've been looking into different aspects of that lately.

But many people I know whom I have trusted before have lied to me. However, this is where yet another conviction of mine comes in: I attempt to see through all perspectives (which is why most of my friends turn to me to look for advice on how to handle a situation...also relationship advice, which is always interesting as I am not an expert in that field by any means) and be able to forgive. I generally have no patience for those who lie to me, cross my convictions, or harm me in any way. Though it may sound cruel, it is very easy for me to drop others' existences and move on with my life. But I have found that I am very forgiving to some, as I am still friends with those who have lied to me, even if these were blatant lies that scarred me and still hurt to think about. However, not everyone in my eyes can receive a second chance, or a third chance, or a fourth chance, or a thousandth chance (that'd be some mega forgiving). If you are one of those people whom I give these chances to, then I truly value you as a person despite the fact that you have lied. If there is also a strong foundation of trust prior to the lying, then that is always taken into account, of course. Also, some conflicts between friends or people can occasionally make their friendship or bond or whatever even stronger, as it does take a lot to forgive someone. I have always appreciated it when I have been forgiven for my actions if I unintentionally misstep my convictions, as well.

As I do my best to stick to my convictions and practice them thoroughly, I do my best to never say a lie to anyone, as I hate being lied to and have been lied to many times in the past (this is also why people don't like the fact that I am straightforward). I have always stated what I believe to be true, even if ends up not being true and then I try to make amends and share my perspective - which generally does not do me much good, but at least I try.

And I do draw some pretty damn good eyes.

ALSO, whenever I can get the chance to share with everyone some of the amazing music played in "The Vampire Diaries," I shall. And this song pertains SO much to this topic. It's also rather sad. Actually very depressing, so I'll put a photo of a happy kitten below the awesome video that people should watch.

"I Need To Know" by Kris Allen

D'awww, aren't you happy again now? I know I am.
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END OF THE MASQUERADE : 
 I sincerely believe that time will always reveal liars' lies in one way or another.
Especially if those liars don't show their remorse or apologize, if they can even feel that as it takes a lot of heartlessness to lie.
I'm sure even liars, too, have hearts, though.
Maybe?
'Tis just another aspect of my beliefs in regards to this genre.
(And I love [Venetian] masks and masquerades, obv.)

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TO THE READERS :

• Are you able to forgive people who lie to you?
• Why do you think it's easier for some people to lie more than others?
• Is it easy for you to drop the existences of others if they have hurt you (I always find the answers to this one very interesting, especially for people like me)?