Sunday, May 13, 2012

Jessica Says: Why I Hate The American Dream of the White-Picket-Fence Lifestyle

Cue the creepy perfect house background music
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WHY THIS IS ON MY MIND :
My brother and I recently went food shopping at the nearest grocery store for me since I have moved out of my college dorm and now am back at my parents' house. We left our perfect-looking house in the perfect-looking bubble/housing development with the perfect-looking families walking up and down the sidewalks, kids, dogs, parents, and all. I tend to keep my blinds closed at my parents' house because the view bothers me. At the grocery store, everywhere I turned there was a mother holding her child's hand, a father talking to his daughter in the child seat of the cart, children and parents everywhere. They probably live in these little perfect bubbles with their 9-5 jobs, steady income, pretty marriage bands, non-dysfunctional families, and happiness.

But that's just boring.
And typical
.
The American dream right there for you, guys. Doesn't everyone just want that?
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GET READY FOR A REAL MOMENT :

Fuck that. 

See, no censoring there.

How do people happily strive for this progression in life? Be born, go to school, then college, then get a job, then marriage, then kids, retirement, and ta da, death! I know that there are many things that happen in between, but why do people so readily strive to settle down or follow this beaten-down path countless have sauntered down before? I actually considered dropping out of college for a while to go pursue something not on this progression because it's something I wanted to do. Something different. I know many people around my age (21) who already have children and spouses/fiances. Have people really given up on finding another "American dream" or are people just willing to settle down with the very old-fashioned American dream? I personally don't follow any "dream," I just live my own and see where it takes me (though it is still heavily constricted at the moment with still living at my parents' house). And it'll always be an in-progress sort of thing until I die because well, you can't dream if you're dead.

But really, I mean, okay, if you want to settle down early in life, all right. That's your decision. But I'm not planning on doing that or if I do, I won't do it in such a....creepily "perfect-family/house/whatever" sort of way. I like to be different than others and live my life differently than others. I believe I do, as well. I'm sure my friends can reassure you that I am not the typical female college student. 

But anyway, you probably think I'm just being pessimistic or defiant, right?
D'awww, spooning
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WRONG! AND HERE'S WHY : 
Though I don't entirely believe in marriage, if I find someone someday and that would make him happy and I begin to admire that idea, then I'd obviously do my best to make him happy; I'm chill with a "long-term" label, though I don't really like labels. Though I don't entirely want children (cue shutter), if my opinions entirely change one day about this with someone I love (why am I talking about this stuff? What's happening to me? Friggin humanity, silence yourself for a bit...another shout out to some awesome people on this blog post here), then it'd be an option. Though I don't entirely believe in the "perfect house," ... nah, I think that's one that I really don't want to happen. You can live in a perfect house without living in a housing development where everywhere you turn are all of these similar, perfect houses. Ick. I'll skip on that. But a house could be nice...though my eyes are currently set on apartments or something. I'd love a mansion with secret passage ways and a swimming-pool-like underground system of tube-like passage ways to get from one area to another. That'd be so cool. Or creepy. It'd also be cool to have themed rooms...like one could be a pirate room and have a legit pirate ship in it that sways in the water. Another could be a forest with a ceiling that had actual constellations. How awesome would that be? It'd be a lot of cleaning, though. Wow rambling...anyway...

I don't know. Maybe I'm weird. But I don't like doing things the way everyone else does things. When my BlackBerry Curve died, I replaced it with an iPhone because BBs are apparently dying. The very last day I had to switch my phone for something else, I did, and I chose the new BlackBerry Bold. I hated the iPhone for many reasons, but I really hated being a part of some cult. EVERYONE HAS AN IPHONE and why? Most I know complain about them.

So I hope people aren't offended. If you want to live this "perfect life" that we've all been spoon-fed to believe is actually perfect and will make you the happiest person on the planet, then feel free. But I don't follow any guidelines. I do what I do and I don't care if someone has a problem with what I do. I break and will continue to break societal norms because that's just how I am. I'm stubborn and different and proud of those things, even if they get me into trouble. I think people should try to stop worrying about trying to be like everyone else and just be themselves, though I know some groups are working on allowing their own lifestyles to be acceptable in society.

I really believe there is so much more out there than people even care to see or want to see in their lifetimes.

I wonder if this will be the last blog post for a while. Hm.
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TO THE READERS:
  • What's the American Dream for you? Does it even exist or are you like me and just follow your own to the extent that you can?
  • What do you think about breaking societal norms?
  • Why do you think so many people are content with following the American Dream?

3 comments:

Dan Monteleone said...

Hey,
To start off, I don't believe in the "American dream." To me, that is a fallacy and a placebo used to pascify the millions of people everywhere who would mindlessly follow along like sheep, instead of trekking their own roads. The "American dream" is a freeway towards death, rather than a scenic back road with lots of stories to tell along the way and at the end. I follow my OWN dreams and no one else's an I think that's how it should be. No one can mold you into who you are but yourself.
As far as breaking "societal norms" I say, what is normal? No one should be able to tell you what "normal" is and THAT is the problem with society. People want to be TOLD things and not search for them. I'm all about challenging the conventions and thoughts of those around me. But that's had to be how I've lived my whole life since I was born. It was a survival mechanism for me. Now, as an adult. I continue to challenge those "norms" in my own way and shattering them in my own way too.
Despite my need to be diffrent and rise above and show people that there is another way, it doesn't much matter. They will continue to seek what they feel they want. The American Dream is a blueprint for life, and I think that's why so many sheeple decide to follow it. It is simple, it is laid out and it is the path of least resistance. People often fear what they do not understand and life is one of those things, that NO ONE can possibly grasp. They are afraid to truly experience things, so they instead subscribe to the machine that is the ever lauded "American Dream." Just my opinion though!

Alex Wood said...

I feel exactly the same way. I don't want to settle down, ever. I don't want to conform to "normal," ever.

xNina Writes said...

Dan,

I really like your first paragraph! I really liked the "to pascify the millions of people everywhere" sentence because it's totally true. I just definitely feel a number of people are fine with just going through the motions without realizing what life can be about.

Haha that's a good question about societal norms, especially since I think we're in an age where things are changing. And that's awesome that you're about challenging the conventions and thoughts of those around you. I've been the same way, as well, though perhaps not from birth. Probably when I realized what I was missing because of being sheltered.

That's a good way to put the AD: a blueprint for life. And I really like this: "They are afriad to truly experience things, so they instead subscribe to the machine that is ever lauded "American Dream."

Thanks always for your comments and support of my blog!

~xxj

Alex,

Haha well good for you! I'm not necessarily saying that I wouldn't "settle down" at some point, but I'd do it my way and not in this boring, old-fashioned way.

Thanks for the comment!

~xxj