 |
| Image Source |
PLEASE NOTE... :
This post is a result of my own thinking and conversations about this concept of humanity. Humanity being something I have been looking into a lot lately with this past semester and I realize that there are many concepts within it. I am trying to learn these, as well, and see how my own experiences, knowledge, and convictions relate with this particular topic. Maybe people will learn something from this and maybe they won't. I think it's going to be a rambling rant.
I am not good at talking or writing about sex - hence why the only time I do talk about it or refer to it is when I'm making a "that's what she said/can't say that" sort of joke or something. My friends also tend to laugh at half the things I say because nearly anything can be taken sexually if one wants to find something sexual and they're my friends, so of COURSE they automatically assume whatever I say is sexual. Oh, us college kids, right? This is not the case, though, in this post nor in 99.9% of my conversations. I've also been going on a sort of convictions, humanity, emotions, rights, etc. sort of theme lately, so I figured I'd give this a whirl.
You CAN'T say that.
Okay. Sorry. See? Me and this topic...okay. Back to being serious:
Anyway, probably the main one of two reasons why I feel awkward discussing or writing about this topic is because it is so heavily valued to me. It is one of my strongest convictions and one that I always do and will stand by, no matter what. When people judge me based on my appearance, the way I dress, how my friends are generally mostly male (I was a tomboy/sportsy person when younger, then later a percussionist, and well, they're less catty and more straightforward), and how I am perpetually single, they tend to think I'm just like the female college students who've very weak convictions when it comes to relationships, morals, and sex. I believe I am very different. Perhaps it is because of the generation that raised me (I'm sure they can be your grandparents' ages), but to me, it is not their age that made me value sex. It's just how I am. And I get a lot of flack for "putting it on a pedestal," as one of my friends would say. But hey, look who isn't getting STDs or having regrets or holding some new guy's hand every week or whatever. I value relationships, romance, passion, caring, and sex - along with many other words I didn't write here otherwise we'd have a list.
AWKWARD PARAGRAPHS :
I believe sex and passion and love are some of the most complicated concepts of humanity and it can mean many things to many different people. Non-love, liking, companionate love, fatuous love, mammalian drives, lust, attraction, sexual desire, relationships, friendships, open relationships, flings, affairs, what have you. Most, if not all, of these tend to somehow incorporate sex. And love. Or adoration. Or whatever.
I'm not going to stand on a soapbox here or anything, but I think everyone should value things like love, caring for someone, relationships, morals, and sex. People have their rights to do whatever they please in regards to this topic, but I think it is grander than most tend to realize. Or maybe you have to have cared about someone so much to have this sort of perspective. And then you learn so much more with the "breakup," ya know? What you valued most, why you valued those things, what will you value of someone else later, whenever that may be. Or maybe some people just care about temporary comfort. Or maybe I'm just weird.
I cannot say I know if I can ever love someone because of the way I am wired, but wires can always be re-arranged and I'd be willing to do that. And in researching this topic of sex and romance and all that stuff (after a few enlightening conversations with a good friend at the Tavern...oh man, I miss that place) and thinking about it thoroughly - as I think about things quite thoroughly quite often - I think it would be a very intriguing emotion to feel. Love, I mean. Wow that feels tacky just writing it. But there are many kinds of love, as I've mentioned. I've only ever truly really cared about someone before, but after a while I couldn't see myself spending my life with him let alone another year. But you live and you learn and you realize what means a lot to you and what you'll look out for. And maybe such a natural instinctual action like sex will have a newly even stronger feeling. Now I just feel like a dating book or something. I almost wrote cook book. Ew. Am I rambling?
I feel like I say a lot of words or give insight to people without actually truly knowing or relating to the subject. So warning: I have never loved someone, but I know what it's like to really care about someone. I will not disclose anything of my lack-of sex life (haha see, still gotta incorporate humor!), but I obviously do value the act of passion so very much. And always will. And I also hope maybe, yeah, no, maybe, yeah that someday, someone can, will, and wants to re-wire me.
Can't say that!
Or maybe it's these really passionate pictures getting to me.
Like I said, it's like an art.
...
I honestly don't even entirely know what point I was trying to make here. Darn these pictures!
EVERYONE DESERVES IT :
Although this post is not centered on GLBTQ rights, I thoroughly believe everyone deserves the right to be in a relationship of whatever kind with whomever they want - gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, questioning, and straights alike. It'll be nice when the world isn't weirded out by any of this, but I think people are progressing.
I am not good at talking or writing about sex - hence why the only time I do talk about it or refer to it is when I'm making a "that's what she said/can't say that" sort of joke or something. My friends also tend to laugh at half the things I say because nearly anything can be taken sexually if one wants to find something sexual and they're my friends, so of COURSE they automatically assume whatever I say is sexual. Oh, us college kids, right? This is not the case, though, in this post nor in 99.9% of my conversations. I've also been going on a sort of convictions, humanity, emotions, rights, etc. sort of theme lately, so I figured I'd give this a whirl.
You CAN'T say that.
Okay. Sorry. See? Me and this topic...okay. Back to being serious:
Anyway, probably the main one of two reasons why I feel awkward discussing or writing about this topic is because it is so heavily valued to me. It is one of my strongest convictions and one that I always do and will stand by, no matter what. When people judge me based on my appearance, the way I dress, how my friends are generally mostly male (I was a tomboy/sportsy person when younger, then later a percussionist, and well, they're less catty and more straightforward), and how I am perpetually single, they tend to think I'm just like the female college students who've very weak convictions when it comes to relationships, morals, and sex. I believe I am very different. Perhaps it is because of the generation that raised me (I'm sure they can be your grandparents' ages), but to me, it is not their age that made me value sex. It's just how I am. And I get a lot of flack for "putting it on a pedestal," as one of my friends would say. But hey, look who isn't getting STDs or having regrets or holding some new guy's hand every week or whatever. I value relationships, romance, passion, caring, and sex - along with many other words I didn't write here otherwise we'd have a list.
It is like art to me.
 |
| Image Source |
I believe sex and passion and love are some of the most complicated concepts of humanity and it can mean many things to many different people. Non-love, liking, companionate love, fatuous love, mammalian drives, lust, attraction, sexual desire, relationships, friendships, open relationships, flings, affairs, what have you. Most, if not all, of these tend to somehow incorporate sex. And love. Or adoration. Or whatever.
I'm not going to stand on a soapbox here or anything, but I think everyone should value things like love, caring for someone, relationships, morals, and sex. People have their rights to do whatever they please in regards to this topic, but I think it is grander than most tend to realize. Or maybe you have to have cared about someone so much to have this sort of perspective. And then you learn so much more with the "breakup," ya know? What you valued most, why you valued those things, what will you value of someone else later, whenever that may be. Or maybe some people just care about temporary comfort. Or maybe I'm just weird.
I cannot say I know if I can ever love someone because of the way I am wired, but wires can always be re-arranged and I'd be willing to do that. And in researching this topic of sex and romance and all that stuff (after a few enlightening conversations with a good friend at the Tavern...oh man, I miss that place) and thinking about it thoroughly - as I think about things quite thoroughly quite often - I think it would be a very intriguing emotion to feel. Love, I mean. Wow that feels tacky just writing it. But there are many kinds of love, as I've mentioned. I've only ever truly really cared about someone before, but after a while I couldn't see myself spending my life with him let alone another year. But you live and you learn and you realize what means a lot to you and what you'll look out for. And maybe such a natural instinctual action like sex will have a newly even stronger feeling. Now I just feel like a dating book or something. I almost wrote cook book. Ew. Am I rambling?
I feel like I say a lot of words or give insight to people without actually truly knowing or relating to the subject. So warning: I have never loved someone, but I know what it's like to really care about someone. I will not disclose anything of my lack-of sex life (haha see, still gotta incorporate humor!), but I obviously do value the act of passion so very much. And always will. And I also hope maybe, yeah, no, maybe, yeah that someday, someone can, will, and wants to re-wire me.
Can't say that!
Or maybe it's these really passionate pictures getting to me.
Like I said, it's like an art.
...
I honestly don't even entirely know what point I was trying to make here. Darn these pictures!
 |
| Image Source |
Although this post is not centered on GLBTQ rights, I thoroughly believe everyone deserves the right to be in a relationship of whatever kind with whomever they want - gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, questioning, and straights alike. It'll be nice when the world isn't weirded out by any of this, but I think people are progressing.
 |
| D'aww, how endearing Image Source |
TO THE READER :
- I'm not even too sure what to ask here, so I'll ask two questions instead of three: what are your thoughts on all of this stuff?
- Was there any thesis in this entire ramble?
Posts
6 comments:
Hey,
So this was a really interesting blog to read! Going through it and really thinking, for me, you hit the nail right on the head. Love is very complex and a very deep thing that people should really value more. I have been in LOVE love twice in my life and I can say with confidence that I think it changes you. Every experience you have with another person changes what you used to think, into what you currently think.
Adding sex to the mix is territory i think, reserved for the bravest of us. Why? Because sex is something that i think is very important to who we are and how we value ourselves. I, like you think it is art in it's purest form and is inherantly beautiful. Unfortunately, with our hyper sexualized society, people place FAR less value on it then we do, hence "putting it on a pedastal."
I've gotten that myself ALOT over the years. My friends say I place to much emphasis on how connecting the act is between two people. To me, yes there is the physical, but it transends that, or is supposed to. It's SUPPOSED to be a deeper connection. Emotional, mental, physical and spiritual should all wrap up to complete what you are doing. Unfortunately, most only see, or care to see the physical. No one looks beyond anymore. When you go ahead with sex, you see someone for all that they are physically, but I think it should also be indicative of how you view them otherwise as well.
Keep thinking what you're thinking and believing what you believe, I respect your stance! It shows you really respect yourself and others as well! Great blog Jess!
Dan,
Haha it was an interesting and awkward one to write for me! And that's awesome that you've been in love-love twice in your life. Like I said in my blog, I had serious conversations about this concept at the Tavern a few nights with a good friend, amongst other concepts of humanity just because I've been finding these things intriguing. But that's really interesting.
And I agree! That's awesome that you think it's a form of art, as well. And that's true about society. I mean, you hear about these children having sex in middle school and whatnot...not to sound older than I am, but that, to me, is just wrong. Yes, people's bodies are their own, but I don't think at that age you really grasp the emotional aspect behind sex. And I absolutely agree about it transending that. Transending isn't a word, by the way, but I'm going to still type it. And that's a shame that many just view it as an action based upon looks. I personally go for the heart, looks are a bonus! haha.
Thank you very much for all of those kind words! You're such a good and supportive friend.
~xxj
Lol I remember you saying you couldn't talk about this topic seriously, even though it's completely natural. hahahaha you're right though, you do sometimes say stuff that can be taken sexually, but we all know that you never mean it that way. You saying something legit sexual? That'd be the day.
Anyway, I admire your perspective on sex and relationships. I know you haven't had much luck with men, but I wish you the best in the future. You deserve someone to make you happy, girl!
chelsea
Chelsea,
Thank you, also, for stopping by my blog. I kind of assumed the word "sex" would gather some people's attentions. Anyway, yes, your first sentence is very true. And hey now, don't make fun of the fact that I'm shy about this subject! Sheesh.
And thank you very much, though why did you have to state that? haha. But this post wasn't because of any particular person or anything, it was just a concept of humanity I decided to explore closer. At least the love/relationship part behind it. But er, thank you!
(You're silly)
~xxj
It's good to finally see a female college student who's not a complete dork be so conscious of her convictions with sex and all. can't see you walking down main st. at 1am to Shorty's in some skanky outfit. actually, do you even OWN a skanky outfit? Can I ask that on here? dont' get angry at me, it was just a joke. But really, I know how strongly you feel of your convictions. isn't that why you wear that pendant thing? ever find something to put in it? Maybe I should message you this instead of ask you on here. eh, whatever. another blog comment, right??
Anyway, it's interesting you're looking into different aspects of humanity. There are many more, of course, as I'm sure you've read. what will your next aspect of humanity post be about? your blog is very interesting. keep writing
-mp
MP,
Why thank you. And no, you would not see me walking there dressed in such attire. No, I do not own anything considered that. Yes, that is what my pendant stands for and no, I have not found something to put in it. Your comment is very humorous, by the way.
And I'm not sure what the next one will be, but I'm thinking about it. Thanks for reading and commenting!
~xxj
Post a Comment