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| The Movie "Jennifer's Body" - For irony purposes Image Source |
WHY I AM WRITING THIS :
This must seem to be a completely random Jessica Says post, right?
Or something that's laced with sex and scandal, right?
I mean, I did use a Megan Fox picture up above, so clearly my intentions here are horrible and lustful.
Or something that's laced with sex and scandal, right?
I mean, I did use a Megan Fox picture up above, so clearly my intentions here are horrible and lustful.
Well think again because this is a post about my recent meeting with two
high-up officials at this university for having a discussion with my
new female adviser to whom - during a meeting - I spoke about how
wonderful my previous adviser, someone of the male gender, is and how I
appreciated his support and was disappointed that he no longer is my
adviser.
Clearly, no ill intentions. They never existed.
So what can I possibly say about this other than this unfair treatment is wrong, hypocritical, stereotypical, and hateful. I was ordered to only speak of professional things with him, like a club I belong in or if I have a question about the fundamentals behind the construction of adverbs or something equally dreadfully boring of the sort.
And they kindly insinuated I am a slut, though I'm far from it.
MASKED EXAMPLES :
Here are some completely true stories that I wanted to respectfully reveal to help prove my point, but I'm not going to the put names of specific professors whose encounters I've written below, for obvious reasons. And something to note is that the majority of these examples are professors in the department that I was being excessively reprimanded for conversing with :
1. Let's start with the Authority #1, whom I only met just today for the first time. She and I spoke about where we grew up, if she liked or disliked living in Pennsylvania, what she likes to write, how insane it is that it's 80 degrees in March, how New Jersey has beautiful parts and she visits the area where I grew up quite frequently, how we both think that the Lake I was going to was pretty though she's never been there, how long she's been working at [University Name Withheld], etc. etc. etc - quite the "personal conversation", though they reprimanded me for having "personal" conversations in person and via email with a male professor about things like video games or traveling. Is it okay for me to have "personal conversations" with only female authority figures? What if I were a lesbian, that'd be put me in a very difficult situation because obviously, it'd be the same "inappropriate" situation but flipped upside-down, though people rarely ever think about that because it's not in black-and-white before them or entirely socially acceptable. What if I were a bisexual? Would I never be allowed to have a conversation with ANY professor because of the constant worry of the professor (or others) thinking I may be hitting on them for having conversation that goes further than the "How are you?" "Good" - which, by the way, is a completely worthless conversation to even have in my book. Those particular ones are wasted time because they say absolutely nothing about how anyone is actually doing.
2. Let's talk about the Authority #2 who was the main culprit of claiming I was something I wasn't and doing things I wasn't. It was almost as though she were pushing me to confess to something I never did, just so she can be right and I could be wrong. At the end of this lovely meeting, I said it was a pleasure to meet the two of them, however, not under such circumstances. To this, she smiled and said that perhaps she and I shall in the future, obviously about personal things since she is not a Professional Writing professor or adviser - which doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of that entire meeting? Or is it because she's a female that her words make this entirely okay, though excessively intrusive and ironic.
3. Let's talk about example Professor #1 who I had an endearing conversation with about our births, upbringings, and personalities. It was truly one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had with anyone, professor or not. And this professor is a female. Is it wrong that we talked about this very, very personal and real topic that probably went far deeper than any "personal" conversation I've ever had with any other male or female professor - or well, anyone for that matter? And she's a photographer, something else we have in common. Seems as though the rules should apply to both genders, but like the first example I posted, it only seems to go one way.
4. Let's talk about example Professor #2 whom I've known since the first day I began here at [University Name Withheld] and he is one of the most amazing people I know and I am infinitely in debt to all he has done for me.Though he is not my professor for any course, I still like to speak to him about just about anything, though I rarely ever feel the need to speak to him about something that would be deemed as "professional." It's sad, but it's true that people would obviously automatically assume that any female student/male professor relationship is always more than just that. Because he is a man and I am a woman.
5. Let's talk about example Professor #3 who was kind enough to make me a cappuccino in her office one evening while working on a website for her. We spoke about many things and caught up with each others' lives. She, like Professor #2, has supported me for the past 3 years, as well, and I value her honesty and opinions. But would this situation be completely inappropriate if she were, instead, a male professor? She and I also have the same sense of style, so does that mean that we are secret lesbian lovers just because she made me a coffee, we wear black boots, and talked about the home life.
6. Let's talk about example Professor #4 who was kind enough to waste his time to speak to me about past part-time jobs done decades ago. He could be my grandfather and he also spoke of his children and his grandchildren. Is it wrong that we had a conversation about something like part-time jobs because he is a male professor and probably triple my age?
7. Let's talk about example Professor #5 who I sent an email to telling him that I sincerely appreciated the fact that he did a stand-up kind act for a friend of mine when nobody else was willing to do something monumental for her monumental event during her college career. That was a truly personal and expressive email, though I don't know him very well personally. Am I in the wrong for being honest and appreciative for a friend who deserves better than she receives?
8. Let's talk about example Professor #6 who helped me realize that I could be infinitely happier as a Professional Writing major, not a Music Composition major. He is maybe in his forties and we've spoken on a number of occasions early in my college career about our shared interest of New York City, vampires, and escaping the boring scene that is [University Name Withheld]. Am I in the wrong for speaking to him about more than just switching majors? Or is that fine because he's homosexual? Would that mean that if a male homosexual student were to speak to him about something not "professional," they're automatically sleeping together?
9. Let's talk about example Professor #7 who I have the utmost respect for. Sometimes it's difficult to be able to have professors who remind you of your aunt and is also an extremely phenomenal professor who pushes her students to try and succeed. And she is a woman. And we've had conversations before that focus on New Zealand, the tropics, retirement, and choral music. Am I wrong to have spent time in her office at 8am that one morning because that was her office hour? Or is that okay because of her status, respect, and gender? Was I wrong to ask her if I could borrow a pencil for my math exam because I forgot to grab one?
10. Let's talk about example Professor #8 who asked me to help him create a school website and needed photographs of himself conducting because he had none. Obviously, he is a male professor who asked me something that can easily be viewed as inappropriate, however, it wasn't even in the slightest. If someone were to walk into the building that we were in, though, I am certain that they would question our motives, but especially mine because I am a female student and he is a male professor.
11. Let's talk about example Professor #9 whom I barely know anything about, but had a nice chat about a British television show titled "Dr. Who," the amazing works and saddening death of Vincent Van Gogh, and my friendship with one of my friends. Would this be inappropriate if this particular professor were male and not female? Is death/suicide of an amazing painter off limits?
12. Let's talk about example Professor #10 whom I had emailed an email of complete truth and honesty after she had asked our class to leave because hardly anyone was prepared for the class. She asked me to come to her office hour and wanted to discuss my email, which coincidentally, she sincerely appreciated even though I was nervous that I may have been far too honest. During this meeting, we discussed how students seemed to have changed, how she felt as though I were a student from perhaps 20 years ago, how my parents were educators and I remember sitting in the faculty lunch room listening to these teachers speak of anything and everything, how she may pick up another job as a translator, and the reality of being a music performance major. Am I wrong for having emailed her in the first place even though she truly felt happy that I had emailed her? Am I wrong to have had a personal conversation with her during the meeting? Or is it because she's a female professor this makes my honesty and conversational personality okay?
13. Let's talk about a single example Teacher #1 whom I had for three years in high school - sophomore year through senior year, obviously during most of the time, I was a minor. We had connected instantly because he would have been my teacher at the high school I was meant to go to back in New Jersey. We had plenty of personal conversations about the differences between Pennsylvania and New Jersey, how the students were different, which teachers and students we both knew of, how we became interested in music, amongst many other things. And we generally spoke in his office and through email. Was it wrong that a 30-something-year-old man conversed with me, a minor, in his office alone and through email about things not related and not entirely related to what he taught?
14. Though I know I am no Megan Fox, I know I am not the homeliest-looking girl with the worst sense of fashion. I love boots, I love pleather, I love lace, I love looking a notch-up from the typical college student in their mismatched pajamas and tank tops.If I were extremely not aesthetically-pleasing or not generally well-put-together, would I have gotten half the heat that I did during that meeting? If I had kyphosis or two lazy eyes, would that matter? If I wore a sweatshirt or long pants instead of a dress to that meeting, would that matter? I feel like their attacking on me was brought far too cruelly than necessary, and a lot because of my physical appearance along with my choice of attire?
15. So am I wrong for having let a male professor borrow video games, telling a female professor I loved her shoes, letting a male professor borrow the movie "Girl, Interrupted," letting a female professor see me cry when I received a bad grade, telling a male professor he dressed nicely today, complimenting a female professor's dress, doing flyers for a male professor's music ensemble I'm not even a part of, purchasing a tremendous bag of candy for the former amazing female secretary of the music department for passing students so she didn't have to spend her own money, buying two large Hershey's bars for a male professor who loves chocolate, telling a female professor what I really thought of how she teaches a class, informing a male professor that he had mayonnaise on his lips after taking a bite of his sandwich, letting a female professor have access to my website-making account, taking pictures at a male professor's ensemble event even though I don't actually have to do so, etc. etc. etc.? Am I?
16. And am I wrong for naturally being able to converse with older people, male or female, better than people my own age or younger? Perhaps it's because my parents were both educators and so are a few of my relatives, so I know how this game works, but I still like to talk to them. I remember sitting in the teachers' lunch room at my parents' schools, listening to the teachers gossip about what this particular kid did, what that particular kid said. It was hilarious. I loved being able to see backstage and hear what teachers really thought of their students and jobs and lives. I love when they're real, and a number of professors truly are actually. I love getting to know educators and being able to get a glimpse of behind the Educator Exterior, which I respect all the same, regardless. And if I can't, that's fine, too. But I like to know what they think of things, what their interests are, what they like to write, what music they like to play, what they really think of my talent, etc. It's not unprofessional.
17. I truly cannot emphasize enough the importance of the many topics in this blog post. I am a female straight student and that's why I am not allowed to have a conversation with a male professor. But as I mentioned earlier in this post, what if I were a lesbian? Would I not be able to have a conversation with a female professor? And dear gosh, if I were a bisexual, would I not be able to have a conversation with any professor? Who would I talk to then? An animal? Perhaps a dog professor named Professor Dogowitz? Or a cat professor named Dr. Meowski? How on earth would I be able to prevent myself from rubbing either of their animal bellies? I love animals.
18. And by the way, isn't EVERY email a personal email? We all say
things like "warm regards" or "Good morning Professor X" - that is
personal. Or do they just want me to write something like this:
Professor X:
Body paragraph with absolutely no emotion.
And absolutely no final farewell.
Just my name.
My full name.
(And I have a number of middle names.)
19. This entire blog post is a lengthy embodiment painting my silent words of regret and disappointment to the male professor whom I can no longer converse with.
Clearly, no ill intentions. They never existed.
So what can I possibly say about this other than this unfair treatment is wrong, hypocritical, stereotypical, and hateful. I was ordered to only speak of professional things with him, like a club I belong in or if I have a question about the fundamentals behind the construction of adverbs or something equally dreadfully boring of the sort.
And they kindly insinuated I am a slut, though I'm far from it.
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| Female student and female educator Image Source |
Here are some completely true stories that I wanted to respectfully reveal to help prove my point, but I'm not going to the put names of specific professors whose encounters I've written below, for obvious reasons. And something to note is that the majority of these examples are professors in the department that I was being excessively reprimanded for conversing with :
1. Let's start with the Authority #1, whom I only met just today for the first time. She and I spoke about where we grew up, if she liked or disliked living in Pennsylvania, what she likes to write, how insane it is that it's 80 degrees in March, how New Jersey has beautiful parts and she visits the area where I grew up quite frequently, how we both think that the Lake I was going to was pretty though she's never been there, how long she's been working at [University Name Withheld], etc. etc. etc - quite the "personal conversation", though they reprimanded me for having "personal" conversations in person and via email with a male professor about things like video games or traveling. Is it okay for me to have "personal conversations" with only female authority figures? What if I were a lesbian, that'd be put me in a very difficult situation because obviously, it'd be the same "inappropriate" situation but flipped upside-down, though people rarely ever think about that because it's not in black-and-white before them or entirely socially acceptable. What if I were a bisexual? Would I never be allowed to have a conversation with ANY professor because of the constant worry of the professor (or others) thinking I may be hitting on them for having conversation that goes further than the "How are you?" "Good" - which, by the way, is a completely worthless conversation to even have in my book. Those particular ones are wasted time because they say absolutely nothing about how anyone is actually doing.
2. Let's talk about the Authority #2 who was the main culprit of claiming I was something I wasn't and doing things I wasn't. It was almost as though she were pushing me to confess to something I never did, just so she can be right and I could be wrong. At the end of this lovely meeting, I said it was a pleasure to meet the two of them, however, not under such circumstances. To this, she smiled and said that perhaps she and I shall in the future, obviously about personal things since she is not a Professional Writing professor or adviser - which doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of that entire meeting? Or is it because she's a female that her words make this entirely okay, though excessively intrusive and ironic.
3. Let's talk about example Professor #1 who I had an endearing conversation with about our births, upbringings, and personalities. It was truly one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had with anyone, professor or not. And this professor is a female. Is it wrong that we talked about this very, very personal and real topic that probably went far deeper than any "personal" conversation I've ever had with any other male or female professor - or well, anyone for that matter? And she's a photographer, something else we have in common. Seems as though the rules should apply to both genders, but like the first example I posted, it only seems to go one way.
4. Let's talk about example Professor #2 whom I've known since the first day I began here at [University Name Withheld] and he is one of the most amazing people I know and I am infinitely in debt to all he has done for me.Though he is not my professor for any course, I still like to speak to him about just about anything, though I rarely ever feel the need to speak to him about something that would be deemed as "professional." It's sad, but it's true that people would obviously automatically assume that any female student/male professor relationship is always more than just that. Because he is a man and I am a woman.
5. Let's talk about example Professor #3 who was kind enough to make me a cappuccino in her office one evening while working on a website for her. We spoke about many things and caught up with each others' lives. She, like Professor #2, has supported me for the past 3 years, as well, and I value her honesty and opinions. But would this situation be completely inappropriate if she were, instead, a male professor? She and I also have the same sense of style, so does that mean that we are secret lesbian lovers just because she made me a coffee, we wear black boots, and talked about the home life.
6. Let's talk about example Professor #4 who was kind enough to waste his time to speak to me about past part-time jobs done decades ago. He could be my grandfather and he also spoke of his children and his grandchildren. Is it wrong that we had a conversation about something like part-time jobs because he is a male professor and probably triple my age?
7. Let's talk about example Professor #5 who I sent an email to telling him that I sincerely appreciated the fact that he did a stand-up kind act for a friend of mine when nobody else was willing to do something monumental for her monumental event during her college career. That was a truly personal and expressive email, though I don't know him very well personally. Am I in the wrong for being honest and appreciative for a friend who deserves better than she receives?
8. Let's talk about example Professor #6 who helped me realize that I could be infinitely happier as a Professional Writing major, not a Music Composition major. He is maybe in his forties and we've spoken on a number of occasions early in my college career about our shared interest of New York City, vampires, and escaping the boring scene that is [University Name Withheld]. Am I in the wrong for speaking to him about more than just switching majors? Or is that fine because he's homosexual? Would that mean that if a male homosexual student were to speak to him about something not "professional," they're automatically sleeping together?
9. Let's talk about example Professor #7 who I have the utmost respect for. Sometimes it's difficult to be able to have professors who remind you of your aunt and is also an extremely phenomenal professor who pushes her students to try and succeed. And she is a woman. And we've had conversations before that focus on New Zealand, the tropics, retirement, and choral music. Am I wrong to have spent time in her office at 8am that one morning because that was her office hour? Or is that okay because of her status, respect, and gender? Was I wrong to ask her if I could borrow a pencil for my math exam because I forgot to grab one?
10. Let's talk about example Professor #8 who asked me to help him create a school website and needed photographs of himself conducting because he had none. Obviously, he is a male professor who asked me something that can easily be viewed as inappropriate, however, it wasn't even in the slightest. If someone were to walk into the building that we were in, though, I am certain that they would question our motives, but especially mine because I am a female student and he is a male professor.
11. Let's talk about example Professor #9 whom I barely know anything about, but had a nice chat about a British television show titled "Dr. Who," the amazing works and saddening death of Vincent Van Gogh, and my friendship with one of my friends. Would this be inappropriate if this particular professor were male and not female? Is death/suicide of an amazing painter off limits?
12. Let's talk about example Professor #10 whom I had emailed an email of complete truth and honesty after she had asked our class to leave because hardly anyone was prepared for the class. She asked me to come to her office hour and wanted to discuss my email, which coincidentally, she sincerely appreciated even though I was nervous that I may have been far too honest. During this meeting, we discussed how students seemed to have changed, how she felt as though I were a student from perhaps 20 years ago, how my parents were educators and I remember sitting in the faculty lunch room listening to these teachers speak of anything and everything, how she may pick up another job as a translator, and the reality of being a music performance major. Am I wrong for having emailed her in the first place even though she truly felt happy that I had emailed her? Am I wrong to have had a personal conversation with her during the meeting? Or is it because she's a female professor this makes my honesty and conversational personality okay?
13. Let's talk about a single example Teacher #1 whom I had for three years in high school - sophomore year through senior year, obviously during most of the time, I was a minor. We had connected instantly because he would have been my teacher at the high school I was meant to go to back in New Jersey. We had plenty of personal conversations about the differences between Pennsylvania and New Jersey, how the students were different, which teachers and students we both knew of, how we became interested in music, amongst many other things. And we generally spoke in his office and through email. Was it wrong that a 30-something-year-old man conversed with me, a minor, in his office alone and through email about things not related and not entirely related to what he taught?
14. Though I know I am no Megan Fox, I know I am not the homeliest-looking girl with the worst sense of fashion. I love boots, I love pleather, I love lace, I love looking a notch-up from the typical college student in their mismatched pajamas and tank tops.If I were extremely not aesthetically-pleasing or not generally well-put-together, would I have gotten half the heat that I did during that meeting? If I had kyphosis or two lazy eyes, would that matter? If I wore a sweatshirt or long pants instead of a dress to that meeting, would that matter? I feel like their attacking on me was brought far too cruelly than necessary, and a lot because of my physical appearance along with my choice of attire?
15. So am I wrong for having let a male professor borrow video games, telling a female professor I loved her shoes, letting a male professor borrow the movie "Girl, Interrupted," letting a female professor see me cry when I received a bad grade, telling a male professor he dressed nicely today, complimenting a female professor's dress, doing flyers for a male professor's music ensemble I'm not even a part of, purchasing a tremendous bag of candy for the former amazing female secretary of the music department for passing students so she didn't have to spend her own money, buying two large Hershey's bars for a male professor who loves chocolate, telling a female professor what I really thought of how she teaches a class, informing a male professor that he had mayonnaise on his lips after taking a bite of his sandwich, letting a female professor have access to my website-making account, taking pictures at a male professor's ensemble event even though I don't actually have to do so, etc. etc. etc.? Am I?
16. And am I wrong for naturally being able to converse with older people, male or female, better than people my own age or younger? Perhaps it's because my parents were both educators and so are a few of my relatives, so I know how this game works, but I still like to talk to them. I remember sitting in the teachers' lunch room at my parents' schools, listening to the teachers gossip about what this particular kid did, what that particular kid said. It was hilarious. I loved being able to see backstage and hear what teachers really thought of their students and jobs and lives. I love when they're real, and a number of professors truly are actually. I love getting to know educators and being able to get a glimpse of behind the Educator Exterior, which I respect all the same, regardless. And if I can't, that's fine, too. But I like to know what they think of things, what their interests are, what they like to write, what music they like to play, what they really think of my talent, etc. It's not unprofessional.
17. I truly cannot emphasize enough the importance of the many topics in this blog post. I am a female straight student and that's why I am not allowed to have a conversation with a male professor. But as I mentioned earlier in this post, what if I were a lesbian? Would I not be able to have a conversation with a female professor? And dear gosh, if I were a bisexual, would I not be able to have a conversation with any professor? Who would I talk to then? An animal? Perhaps a dog professor named Professor Dogowitz? Or a cat professor named Dr. Meowski? How on earth would I be able to prevent myself from rubbing either of their animal bellies? I love animals.
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| Dr. Meowski is judging you for being judgmental Image Source |
Professor X:
Body paragraph with absolutely no emotion.
And absolutely no final farewell.
Just my name.
My full name.
(And I have a number of middle names.)
19. This entire blog post is a lengthy embodiment painting my silent words of regret and disappointment to the male professor whom I can no longer converse with.
And that is a shame.
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| Image Source |
JESSICA ASKS :
- How long do you think it took me to write all of this? Secondly, how long did it take you to read all of this?
- What do you think about all of the true and unfair examples I provided here?
- Do you have a professor like any of the ones I listed above that you feel you can relate to and have absolutely no fear that anything inappropriate will result from your conversations?
~xxj
Posts
6 comments:
That's just... insane. I feel really bad for you.
Alex Wood:
It really is insane. I do understand and respect boundaries, I do, but just because he's a guy? C'mon now. And thanks...
~xxj
In the past 50 years, society's views of what is 'acceptable' and what is 'inappropriate' has changed significantly. What once was viewed as an innocent "Hello Professor" while passing has turning into "OMG, she MUST be sleeping with him!"
Sorry to be so blunt, but the truth of the matter is this:
Yes - times have changed and because of that, there are people who take advantage of the student/teacher professional relationship.
Yes - Because of that fact, people are more aware of the possibility of such an act occurring in public schools.
But...
Has the education system gone too far in ASSUMING that every single conversation that goes beyond a simple "Hello" means something scandalous is happening behind close doors?
Just because a student dresses in black doesn't mean they are depressed.
Just because a student has an occasional drink doesn't make them an alcoholic.
And just because a student tries to make a connection with another human being DOESN'T mean something 'inappropriate' is going on.
Sorry for the rant, but this topic speaks to me.
Hey Jess,
First off, let me just say, wow this is by far the most hypocritical thing they could have levied against you. If they are not willing to hold all professors to a measure of professionalism across ALL faculty then they shouldn't be making an issue WHERE THERE CLEARLY IS NONE!!!
I mean, you should be free to talk to whoever you like, free of implicitations and assumptions from every freakin angle! I can't believe you were actually pulled into a meeting over this crap! It's seriously offensive, even to me and I wasn't there! College is supposed to be an experience socially and since we are adults why should we close our borders to conversing/ interacting with students only?
This is straight up an injustice. As i was reading all your examples, to me, nothing AT ALL struck me as inappropriate. You were simply socializing where you felt comfortable and should not be punished for that. You even said, since your parents are educators, that is where you feel most comfortable.
Perhaps they should analyze the situation a little further rather than stereotyping you into some weird slutty role. What's more disturbing here is that a FEMALE instigated this meeting, at least as far as I understand. Not to sound....trite, but shouldn't she have tried to view the whole thing a bit more.... maturely, i know, i know an overused concept these days! You were simply expressing how you felt about the job your previous advisor had done, way to go with the hate, advisor number two....real winner.
Overall I just feel like you got completely screwed here, it's awful shit and SHOULD NOT be looked on lightly. I can only imagine how you must feel. While I cannot relate to the professor friendship directly, I have had similar relationships.
Throughout high school, I was always a social butterfly I would build relationships with ANYONE who i felt shared similar ideals. My best example is my friend and mentor who is a retired Lt. Colonel in the U.S military...who was also an instructor for the JROTC program at my school. I had great conversations with him and would often visit with he and his wife, just because I could. It was all based in mutual respect and if i had lost that, I would be a very different person from who i am today.
Positive relationships such as that should not be ruined as they can be great resources to us as well as support through hard times. Damn that (university withheld) and their hypocrisy. seriously, disgusting.
Also, took me about 20 minutes to read this one, but I had ALOT to say afterward.
Ima B. Leever:
I agree with you, because these inappropriate relationships have gotten out, everyone feels the need buckle down. It's almost like the typical "one person screws up, then everyone has to suffer."
I agree with you about sometimes teachers take advantage of their student. But I agree that the education has gone a bit too far, though of course, it's always intelligent to keep ones eyes out for such things. But to just automatically assume? Tisk.
I tend to dress in mostly black, so believe me, I know how it feels to have people think you're about to commit suicide.
Or if you have a drink, then you're an alcoholic.
Or if you have a smoke, you're addicted to nicotine.
Or if you wear makeup, you have no confidence.
Or if you are on birth control, you're a slut.
There are just so many. And it's all right for the rant. No worries.
~xxj
Dan Monteleone:
I agree that it's completely hypocritical. And the funny thing is that the majority of professors I have listed are from the department that reprimanded me. And if they have a problem with this, perhaps they should speak to all deans and all students and all chairpersons. But that would be a lot of effort, wouldn't it?
I did find it very offensive. I left the meeting extremely pissed off, actually. I couldn't believe it. And they told me that I couldn't have such conversations with people because I need to resort to them for recommendations for jobs and whatnot. To be honest, if I'm not at some personal connection level with a professor, how on earth would I have the want to ask them to write a recommendation for me? And those things are supposed to encompass MORE than "they showed up for class everyday." Many students show up for class everyday. How is THIS student different from the rest?
And yes, because my parents were educators and I got to mingle with their co-workers growing up, I feel as though I do comprehend this element, especially the boundaries.
Yeah, they definitely didn't analyze the situation at all. They barely let me speak, as well. And when I did, it was always one-up'd with them basically trying to convince me I was wrong. And I never thought about that "female instigating" this meeting. I didn't think of that angle. And yes, I don't think she particularly liked that I went off on a tangent completely unrelated to the reason why I was there - which was one of the reasons why it all was deemed "unprofessional."
That's amazing about your friendship with a retired Lt. Colonel in the U.S. military. And yes, mutual respect is a lot of it, of course. And they can have the most amazing impacts on our lives, as well.
And hahaha that's funny that it took 20 minutes, all though that's actually very good timing, as well.
It took me probably a total of 5 hours - of course I've added more past the original 3 hours - but still. It's a lot of writing. And I just added two more professors and more examples as to what Authority 1 and I spoke about on our way to the meeting.
~xxj
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