Jessica Says: Why Is American Society So Obsessed With Settling Down?

Traditional American family
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 LITTLE INTRO :

 Contrary to what most probably assume about me, I am not against the idea of settling down with someone, but I think it's annoying how society pushes everyone - men and women alike - to settle down at a certain point in their lives, obviously meaning marriage and children.

Also note that I will not be discussing my thoughts on the sexist issues in this concept. I will also not go into the "nontraditional" families that exist today. Both are a whole 'nother slew of blog posts.

This will only be about how Americans feel the pressure of having to settle down at a certain age just because it used to be like that.

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 THE CLOCK'S A'TICKING :
This blog post was actually inspired to be written based on a conversation I had with one of my professors and how we both think that society's need to have a time limit of unmarried/childless life is stupid. I feel as though this concept tends to get lost in the "unfair expectations" pile amongst things like women needing to wear makeup to look pretty or men needing to excessively work out to gain muscle because it's not looked at as often. It's probably more engraved into our minds as "normal" than unfair, whether we realize it or not. And I think that should change - not because I fear of being judged myself later down the line for being independent, but because I simply know I will be and I don't think others should feel this way, either. Especially for women to have children, you know, because all females are supposed to want to have babies and do so while still young and trying to make successful careers for themselves.

It's like some clock is ticking before any hope for happiness can be found for both men and women.

So what is it about people and settling down?

Crazy Cat Lady Stereotype
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FINAL THOUGHTS :

I think people just want to fulfill this engrained comfort because they don't know better. That being married and having children at the "right" time will mean that they have finally done what they are supposed to do in life. That everyone will be happy and you will have met up to people's expectations; however, the other side of the situation is that if you don't do these things by a certain time, then you will have failed at life in the eyes of your peers. That you just can't do commitment, you can't find someone, you don't want to find someone, you're just being rebellious, you don't care enough about your family's expectations, you are incapable of loving and being loved, etc. 

We seem to have happily accepted the mindset of outdated morals, even to this day. Back then, people didn't live very long, so obviously marrying and having children early in life was the norm. But now we can live up to 100-years-old, so why does this archaic mindset remain? You'd think this fact would be factored in and scaled, if need be. People should choose to "settle down" whenever they want to, though no one should feel required to even do that. 

I guess I just don't quite get it. I plan to make sure that I am wholly satisfied with my life before I go choosing to spend it forever with someone else and maybe have children with them. I'm not going to cave in just because society says I should have a band around my finger and a soccer-mom van at a certain age. I'm me and I will be "ready" when I am "ready," if I ever want to be "ready." I just hope others can agree.

I'd understand if you don't, can't, or won't.

~xxj

Courtney Stodden: America's New Female Role Model?

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BACKGROUND INFO :

Welcome the newest try-hard to enter the socialite/reality television scene by resorting to selling sex and professing her controversial love of husband Doug Hutchinson to the gullible, drama-craving American public. And by controversial love, I'm alluding to the poking fun at the age difference of 34 years with Courtney supposedly being 17 [hahahaha yeah right. Also, for all the people checking out her supposed 17-year-old body, PERVS] and Doug being 51.

Certainly smells like the controversial story line that Americans would just love to watch on television, right? But you know, nobody is that shallow to be able to sell everything about themselves and possibly craft completely fake persona to become rich and famous.
Yes, that was sarcasm.

Anywho, Courtney Stodden has no future aspirations, enjoys tweeting tweets that reflect her lack of intellect and soul but knowledge of the Thesaurus right-click option in Word, has no problem walking around exposing her body in overly-revealing outfits, and seems to be quite dead behind the eyes that are lined in pounds of black eyeliner and blended into her spray tanned skin.

Well, color me shocked.

Oh, it's funny what the lack of self-value, need for attention, heavy makeup, and breast implants can do for you.
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SHE IS NO ROLE MODEL :

As you can probably tell above, that photo is a before and after picture [I'm guessing when she actually was 17 on the left and now as she's 32 or something on the right]. Most do not know that prior to becoming a sexed-up socialite and "child"-bride, she was once just a model trying to break into the business. 
Well now, she certainly made an break into the Hollywood business, but is her method actually admirable or worthy of being considered a national role model?

Perhaps the article I read was a joke [read it Here], but the author claimed that Stodden appeared right in time because young female Americans need a new role model to look up to. Though she may seem like a performance artist trying to get rich and famous for being notorious and controversial, the author said that she is perfect because she practices what she preaches. She does not hide her real self for the sake of not being judged or getting backlash. And if she really is the person she claims to be, then this would be true and possibly even a tad respectable. But despite the fact that she says exactly what is on her mind and how she feels [it's dangerous sometimes, seriously], is she really the woman young girls should feel the need to aspire to be?

What on earth is she on?
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JESSICA SAYS :

I'm sure you can tell in my tone throughout this entire post that I believe this socialite is the furthest thing from what a female role model should be for American girls and young women. One can practice what they preach in a tasteful way without resorting to outlandish and inappropriate means. For example, she has no problem ranting about her sexuality, but she can do so without prancing around in thongs in public and revealing her kinky sex life on Twitter. Not only that, but she's only proving to females that succumbing to selling sex will get you what you want in life. That women should conform to society's messed up standard and expectation of women. And that's wrong.

Yes, if Courtney Stodden is actually a real person and not a persona, then she does hold true to her words. But her words shouldn't be what inspires people to be what they want in life. If all females were to follow this woman's mentality and lack of morals, every woman would have fake breasts, would spray-tan consistently, would wear thongs in public, pose publicly in questionable positions with their husbands, etc. etc. etc. For a woman who claims to be so comfortable in her skin, it's ironic how much she changed about herself since her teen years.

I honestly think she is in her thirties and that she became desperate enough to become famous that she chose to be this empty-eyed sex doll. I think it's because she never made it big as a model. Seems she eventually found her way to have her name known. But females shouldn't feel that they need to resort to selling sex and becoming a false image just to get somewhere in life or have their name be known. There is a tremendous difference between being famous because of being reputable and being notorious.

If she really is the person she claims to be and is legitimately happy in her life and is not faking a marriage just to have her own reality TV show, then fine, whatever. But to suggest her being this role model is ridiculous and I would hope - for the sake of humanity - that others agree with me, too.

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TO THE READERS :

• I tend to read a lot of posts on a gossip site called ONTD so I tend to read a bit about these types of people. My question, though, is have you heard of Courtney Stodden?
• What do you think about this person or persona being a role model for young American girls and women?
• Do you really think this woman is 17-years-old?

Little Monsters Going Against Mama Monster's Preachings?

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BACKGROUND INFO :

 I always feel like posts like these have to be created soon after the event otherwise they're not as relevant.

Anywho,

Basically everyone knows who Lady Gaga is. I realize that that statement may seem like a generalization, but I severely doubt it is. Along with her music, Gaga is also very well known for the causes she promotes and her the preachings she gives, whether it be for everyone to be proud of their sexualities, for people to follow their dreams, or even for people to stop bullying.
(Like that subtle transition to the real topic of this post?)

It seems, though, that a number of her fans and stans have forgotten her stance on bullying when it came to Kelly Osbourne's (I'm sure most people are familiar with her, as well) tame opinion on Gaga skipping the Red Carpet during this year's Grammys.

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THE UNNECESSARY DRAMA :

Here is what Osbourne said about Gaga's lack of appearance on the Red Carpet:
"Being part of the music industry is walking the red carpet. You say hello to your fans and you give back to those reporters and those people who supported you. And when you go to an awards show and you don’t walk the red carpet, I find that disrespectful."
In response to the many hateful comments thrown at her on her Twitter page, she tweeted this:
“I have been told to die, suck d–k, get raped & that i look like i have aids by @ladygaga fans no wonder they get called bullies.”
So.
Something else to point out is that Osbourne actually took the time to respond to many of these cyber bullies, which is rather impressive. But anyway, it's interesting how fans and stans of Lady Gaga resort to the exact behavior that Gaga condemns. It kind of makes you wonder why exactly they like Gaga in the first place if they don't seem to respect or even listen to what she preaches.

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JESSICA SAYS :

First, I'll give my opinion on Gaga's actions. I actually agree with Osbourne here, to be honest. The Red Carpet is the only time during such events where fans get to line themselves along the Carpet and take photos, get photos with, and get autographs of their favorite celebrities, music artists, whatever. I read one person's comment in defense of Gaga's actions saying that she didn't do anything this year because she couldn't top last year's stunt with arriving in an egg. 
No.
Sorry, that's not a good defense. Unless there is some legit excuse that is released explaining why Gaga didn't make it to the Red Carpet, it's just a selfish act. What if she had won an award? Would her fans really believe her when she thanked them for helping her get that award, but she didn't even bother with walking the carpet? With her tremendous and obviously dedicated fanbase, I think the least she could do is walk the Red Carpet. 
And heck, doesn't she like the attention, anyway?

Secondly, now my opinion on Gaga's hypocritical fans/stans. As stated in the background info section, Gaga is completely against bullying and claims it's because she was once bullied for being odd. I do not necessarily believe her or know this to be true or false, but the notion is still admirable. Bullying is wrong and the victims of bullying suffer. Although Kelly Osbourne is obviously an adult, the cyber bullying by a number of Gaga's stans was absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary, but I really feel like Osbourne held her ground respectfully and responsibly. Osbourne has said in the past and present that she is a fan of Gaga, too, sooo......
Stans frighten me.

Lady Gaga's performance at the 2012 Grammys
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TO THE READERS :

• What do you think of Gaga's fans, who love her SO much, using bullying to get their emotions across to Osbourne?
• Do you think Osbourne's comment was tame and not ill-willed?
• What do you think of the way Osbourne handled the cyber bullying? Did she do it perfectly or should she have done something else?
  

Writing Assignment: "In Slumber And In Company"

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BACKGROUND INFO :

 Yes, in case you didn't know, otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away from one another. I've recently become obsessed again with this beyond adorable act and cannot help but squeal every time I see a picture or video of these little caring creatures. 

If you click on the video below, you can experience this cuteness in motion.

So for this writing assignment based upon my group's writing exercise, I figured it'd be an interesting thing to attempt to write about this amazing bond from the view of the otters' little cute hands as they grasp for one another.  

How @$#%'ing CUTE, right?

THE ASSIGNMENT :

Please keep in mind that this is written through the perspective of the otter's hands, or well, I suppose just hand.


 "In Slumber and In Company"
By Jessica (cough cough...I'm not posting my last name here)

~
I reach these sleepy, small fingers out, but,
 dear friend, 
Where have you gone? 

Our lonely otter fingers are no longer entwined

And I fear that you have drifted away
But do not sigh or fret or sadden,
for we will drift back together very soon

I promise
I will find you 

And when I do, 
our hands shall be together again
Our bond whole
Our fingers laced in warmth and care

Alas, dear friend! 
There you are! All the way over there!
And yet you still slumber

I reach these fingers out to grasp yours
And we join,
in slumber and in company,
once again. 
~

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~xxj

"Pretty Little Liars" : Having A Lesbian Couple On TV Is "Irresponsible Imagery?"

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BACKGROUND INFO :

"Pretty Little Liars" is currently one of the most popular shows that ABC Family has to offer American audiences. But it is also one of the most controversial.
And it's not so much because the television show doesn't entirely follow the books, it's because there is a lesbian couple on screen. The characters' names are Emily and Maya.

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WHAT THE "FLORIDA FAMILY ASSOCIATION" HAD TO IGNORANTLY SAY :

So while doing some research on this show, I found that many protest groups attack ABC Family for allowing there to be "irresponsible imagery" on a family channel. Clearly, ABC Family has yet to back down and succumb to these ignorant protesters. And Emily and Maya's relationship seems to be stronger than ever, which is great. Everyone deserves to be happy, right?

Here's an excerpt from that they claimed:
"Unlike any other show on unrestricted advertiser-supported television networks, the majority of the primary cast on 'Pretty Little Liars' are lesbians. The series has grown from one lesbian lead character to three. The majority of the viewers of 'Pretty Little Liars' lesbian show are children. More than half or 1.3 million of the 2.5 million female viewers are children -- girls between the ages of 12 and 18 according to cable reports on Deadline.com. This report does not include girls younger than 12, but certainly they are also watching by the tens of thousands. ABC using salacious and glamorizing scenes portraying young, pretty women as lesbians sends the wrong message to these young girls, a message that reinforces and legitimizes this homosexual lifestyle in a manner that could affect these young girls’ sexual identity for a lifetime."

Although I can write a list of various retorts against this highly disappointing excerpt, I will ask this:
What about the questioning or lesbian young girls, preteens, teenagers, young women, and adult women who may watch this show and continuously struggle to have their own sexual identities be accepted in such a society?
(Also, wouldn't it be more accurate for this family group to attack ABC for using pretty, young women dressed up in heels, short dresses, and makeup that may promote sexualization of young girls?)

A video that captures some of the struggles these characters had to go through.

I also found that some advertisers even pulled their ads from the show right when the character Emily revealed that she was a lesbian. One example is GENERAL MILLS, you know, the cereal brand that makes a variety of cereals for children? So, clearly those at General Mills thinks it wrong for people to be gay. What a wonderful notion to express to children, right?

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JESSICA SAYS :

I personally don't really follow the show, but I occasionally leave the TV on after watching "The Lying Game" (woah, what's ABC Family really trying to promote here with all these lying-based shows?) and watch some if not all of the following episode of PPL. That being said, I do not entirely know the entire background story behind Emily and Maya, however, when I caught episode 18 of this season that had rather endearing scenes between Emily and Maya, I began to do some research. I was curious to see if people would be angry at this episode and sadly, I was right.

I find these scenes between the two very refreshing, to be honest. Finally, an accurate and kind portrayal of a lesbian relationship on television, not these gay or lesbian characters who only play the "mean person" roles and get killed off or something.

I realize that the General Mills thing was something that happened about a year ago, but it's still the principle of the matter. I really hope one day people can just allow other people to just be happy. I really do think that everyone deserves to find their own happiness in life, so why do others do their best to ruin it for others?

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TO THE READERS : 

•  What do you think of the Florida Family Association attacking ABC Family for having a lesbian couple, but not attacking them for the possible promotion of sexualization of young girls?
• What are your views on having gay or lesbian characters on TV?
• When do you think society will finally allow everyone to just be happy and be allowed to publicly express their happiness?

~xxj

Jessica Says: Why I Don't Care For Valentine's Day

CANDY IS DELICIOUS, REGARDLESS
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WELCOME TO "JESSICA SAYS" POSTS :

 While realizing that today was Valentine's Day, I wondered if I could do a blog post on it. But then I remembered that there isn't much in the media that I can dissect unless it focused on stupid Hollywood couples drama, but I can at least give my opinion about the day. So I decided to create a new Tag that will solely be about rants on just about anything, not so much my response to something published in the media. That being said...

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MY THOUGHTS :

I know what you guys are thinking as you're smirking at the title of this blog entry:
"Well someone's obviously single and bitter."

However, you're wrong. I'm certainly not bitter about the fact that I will be spending my Valentine's Day sans a significant other. And I don't hate Valentine's Day or anyone who chooses to obsess about it or celebrate it. I do, however, think that it is both a decent and bad holiday for a couple of reasons, obviously of which I shall explain further. Keep in mind that these are JUST my opinions.

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WHY IT'S "GOOD" :

1. As you can tell from the picture above, I think it's an endearing holiday when it comes to children expressing their love for their parents, parent, or guardian/s. It's also a good thing to teach children during grade school when they hand out Valentines to their classmates - you know, to care about and respect others...at least until they get older and somehow forget that.
2. It is a holiday that some couples embrace and happily celebrate, thus making their emotional connection stronger.
3. GOOD CANDY AND PINK/RED-COLORED FOOD.
4. More income for basically all businesses that sell some sort of Valentines Day-themed products.
5. Brings the nation closer for a day.

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WHY IT'S "BAD" :

And keep in mind I'm speaking based on experience and hear-say, mainly.

1. Homosexual couples still aren't treated as equals, therefore, not every couple gets the welcoming chance to publicly celebrate the holiday and their love or appreciation for their partner, though it's a national holiday.
2. People are succumbing to commercialism. In the words of dearest Tyler Durden from the movie Fight Club, "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need." (There are many more, but I just chose this one. I love this movie.)
3. Women tend to hold the well-being of their relationship over the heads of their boyfriends based on whether or not he either remembers it's Valentine's Day or if he doesn't buy her something good, he supposedly doesn't care about her. Same can be said with men as the main subject.
4. I know a number of women who seem to think Valentine's Day is a day for women, for their men to shower them with presents and whatnot - no. Just no. If you both are choosing to celebrate a day that's about a couple celebrating their love for one another, you both should give one another something special, regardless if it's V-day themed or not. Yeesh, even I know that.
5. I personally don't feel as though a man needs to or can buy my love, so I don't think it's fair that others hold their boyfriends to that same old standard. I would personally be completely fine-this is if I cannot get out of him wanting to celebrate the holiday-with chilling on the couch and watching TV. Maybe I'm odd, though. It's about more than what he can purchase, though if I couldn't convince him to not buy me something, then I would still appreciate the efforts....I'm not that heartless. But I don't think it's the first thing that should be attempted.
6. Sometimes, Valentine's Day tends to put a strain on a relationship without anyone actually doing something to initiate the failing...enough said.
7. Some parents don't seem to realize that their child should give those little Valentines cards, gifts, or candies to every student in class. A person missed can end up being a person pissed. Or middle-school-heartbroken.
8. Causes some to become depressed about the fact that they don't have someone to spend the holiday with. 
9. Can also bring the nation apart for a day.

Overall, again, I'm not a hater of Valentine's Day, but I also do not love it. I just don't care for it.

Regardless, I hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day, if you so choose to celebrate it.

~xxj

Why Can't More Current Music Artists Be More Like Adele?

February 12, 2012: Adele performing live at the Grammys where she also won 6 awards.

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BACKGROUND INFO :

Even if you don't know anything about British singer/songwriter Adele, it's 100%  likely that you have at least heard her music play on the radio every now and then. Or maybe you've heard your floor-mates wail a lyric or two down the hallway. (Yes, I am speaking from personal experience with that one.) Though relatively newly popular in the US, she has been fairly famous in the UK for quite some time now. With her most recent album "21," many consider the following on the album to be her greatest works: "Rolling In The Deep" and "Someone Like You." As I mentioned above in the image caption, she was nominated for 6 Grammys Awards this year and went home with all 6.  She also performed a stellar performance even though she just had throat surgery.
By why in the midst of this pop era of attention-seeking outfits, risque dance moves, and auto-tune does Adele tend to stand out from her fellow music artists?

Rihanna also performing live at the 2012 Grammys.

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 LESS IS MORE :

It's because she has talent behind her name and therefore, she does not need to resort to selling sex and abusing theatrics merely to divert the audience's attention from the singing. She does not need to resort to wearing outlandish clothing, grinding on a back-up dancer, or lip-syncing/singing into an auto-tune microphone. She also doesn't need a ton of visual distractions to divert the audience's attention away from her singing voice.
Adele is a breath of fresh air because she has natural talent and has class.
Key words: Natural Talent, Class.
And it seems as though Americans are beginning to appreciate simplicity more than strange.
Plus, who can really deny a well-written song about heartbreak?

Adele singing "Someone Like You" live at the 2012 Grammys. 

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JESSICA SAYS :

I'm sure many people are assuming I am just biased, that I probably only listen to musicians who do not resort to selling sex or theatrics, but that is not true. Two years ago, I was actually quite the supporter of Lady Gaga and enjoyed her costumes and theatrics, but too much of a good thing generally leads to one getting bored quickly. I also realized after a while that some musicians resort to these tactics solely for attention. But do note that I do like to listen to bubblegum pop, as well as other genres of music.

And no, I'm not claiming that Adele is perfectly innocent. I'm not claiming that just because she has a British accent, that she's automatically not trashy or something.

And actually, she's got quite the sailor's mouth. It's quite hilarious, but that doesn't make me think any less of her. If anything, it shows that she doesn't mind being herself even while the camera is rolling, and that is refreshing. And the mix of someone classy with edge is something I admire in female celebrities and musicians.

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SO I DON'T SEEM LIKE A HYPOCRITE :
I understand why musicians and celebrities tend to have fabricated images to stand by, I do. Being a composer of music myself, one must be careful with what and how they present themselves to the audience. I am not saying that when I represent myself as Jessica Anastasia, that I am a completely different person, but I do try to keep things as appropriate as possible to avoid backlash. Though I am not a performer, I know that if I ever did perform my own work, I would not need to lose my real self in overwhelming theatrics, makeup, and outfits - though I would remain as appropriate as possible. I just wanted to clarify that I am not condemning all music artists/celebrities for having images to stand by to promote themselves and their work. I just respect those who do not need to make up an entirely different version of themselves and I respect those who attempt to remain as classy and presentable as possible when they take on their professional roles.

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TO THE READERS :

• What do you think of Adele's stage persona?
• When do you think Americans will completely tire of the outlandish personas?
• Women, do you think these female artists are selling themselves short by resorting to selling sex to promote their images?