Parents Making Pages or Putting Unprotected Pictures of Their Children on Social Media Outlets? Uhhh.

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BACKGROUND INFO :

Did you know that people under the age of thirteen are prohibited from having a Facebook account? So how many people do you know created pages for their children that either their children run or they run? Heck, even babies have their own Facebook accounts, as shown above.

(those are some pretty damn smart babies)

Here are some facts from this website:

• "Of the 20 million minors who actively used Facebook in the past year, 7.5 million—or more than one-third—were younger than 13 and not supposed to be able to use the site.

• Among young users, more than 5 million were 10 and under, and their accounts were largely unsupervised by their parents.
• One million children were harassed, threatened, or subjected to other forms of cyberbullying on the site in the past year

So why is this acceptable?

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JESSICA SAYS :

I do not have children, however, I have a number of both friends on Facebook and in R/L who have children and their profile pictures are sometimes just a picture of their child. You tend to see this more in my generation who have children, as social media has been a large part of our lives. (remember those Myspace and Xanga days? Or how about MyLife, Blogster, or Friendster? There are so many more, too.)

My opinion is to not have your profile picture set as just your child, at least include yourself. A professor and I actually spoke of this one day while talking about our Facebook friends and we both feel that your profile picture should be something of you, not just your kid/kids. It was actually a very funny conversation. I generally try to keep my profile pictures as "shadowed" as possible because I don't really need people looking at a picture of me, but to have a picture of your kid there seems kind of wrong, especially since everyone can see a profile picture, regardless of privacy settings. I have no problem with those who have albums on their accounts of their children, that's totally cool (though I think one should have privacy settings on their albums so creepers can't get access to photos of their children). But I definitely have a problem with people who make Facebook (or whatever) accounts of their infants/toddlers/children. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed if in 10 years or more (ha yeah like there won't be a new media outlet) I looked at posts my parents posted when I was 2 and they exclaimed triumph of not falling out of my new bed or something, though I never typed that when I was 2. Talk about setting your kids up for hating you. They'll do that anyway at some point, so I'd suggest to wait until they're old enough to use a social media outlet responsibly. 

But hey, who am I to suggest this stuff, huh? I don't have children.

So here's a legit recommendation from this website:

"For Parents:

If your preteenager uses Facebook, delete the account or ask Facebook to by using its "report an underage child" form. For children 13 and older, monitor activities by joining their circle of Facebook friends. If that's not feasible with an older teenager, keep tabs on them through their friends or siblings, as did 18 percent of parents we surveyed who had 13- to 17-year-olds on Facebook.

Get to know the technology. "Use Facebook yourself, so you're savvy about the privacy issues," says Denise Terry, chief "safety mom" at SafetyWeb, an Internet-monitoring service for parents."

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TO THE READERS:

• What do you think of the fact that parents are allowing their children (or are unaware) to use social media like Facebook?
• If you have a child currently, do you allow them to have a Facebook/whatever else account?
• What do you think of parents making pages for their infants?

Why Do So Many College Students Drop Out Just Shy Of Their Degree?

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WHY THIS IS ON MY MIND :

Did you know that around 56% of undergrads drop out of college, even those just short of obtaining their degrees? And did you know that American students are the least happy and this statistic is getting worse? And did you know that about 17 million graduates have careers they never needed their BA's for?

Scary Figure
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I will not disclose whether or not I have ever wanted to drop out, do want to drop out, or will want to drop out because that is personal and such information should not be disclosed publicly, so sorry if you were looking for something here. However, I wondered what were students' reasons for leaving higher education, as I know it happens and I know those whom have left higher education.

I also want to note that I do not shame those who choose to drop out of college. I know many people whom have dropped out and are very happy in their lives, even if it's being a cashier at Starbucks, which they make fun of all the time. Sadly, I cannot do retail as a living (ask my Weis co-workers/co-cashier-ers).
I would rather jump off a bridge.

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HOW I USED TO BE WITH EDUCATION :

Secret for you all that I've tried to keep buried:
Yes, say hello to my nickname from middle school years in NJ:

"Hermione"

from J. K. Rowling's popular children's series "Harry Potter."

And this is movies 1-2 Hermione, not the Hollywood-ized "blonde bombshell" version that started around movies 3/4 (but we're not going to get into how the character of Hermione was butchered in the films because I can write thousands upon thousands of pages on it.)

First year movie-Hermione, before they and the actress chose beauty over brains. I was never this obnoxious though.

But anyway, yes, I was a bookworm, a nerd, a shy student (and high-scorer in middle school field hockey, bam!) - and the teachers loved me. I spent hours in the library reading everything I could, especially on all types of living creatures - minus insects - which was my current interest at the time (little did I know that I'd forever suck at sciences). If anyone was looking for me, I'd either be in the library or the art room. I loved reading. I loved doing homework. I loved writing. I loved art. I loved the piano. I loved education.

And it helps that so many in my family are educators. Both my parents are retired educators, my wonderful aunt is the dean of education at her university in NZ, and there are so many others that I can't recall the names of at the moment who are also educators. We obviously know a number of other educators, as well, who are not considered family, but were back in day. Basically, I am an educator's daughter, niece, and cousin. Surrounded by them for nearly my entire childhood and still surrounded by them, though in a different sense.

However, I am not the same as I was in middle school, as things changed when moving to dearest PA (sense anything there?). I found that this once very strong adoration for learning tends to change a lot as time goes on wherever I go and whatever I go through. I cannot say if this is a good or bad thing.

DO NOTE:
I'm still extremely pleased with how I turned out, though, even though my personality (and style) are nearly completely different than they were when I was younger. Extremely pleased. Especially with the style part (dear god, the clothing my mother bought me...).

BAM!

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SO WHY DO THEY DROP OUT? :

Here's the big question, though I'm sure a number of people know some of the reasons why so many college students drop out. You don't even have to look up some of these reasons. Tada:

1. Money issues/burden of debt
2. Not being prepared for the rigors of academic work
3. Inability to cope with the competing demands of study/lack of work ethic
4. Struggle to balance a part-time job with academics
5. Struggle to balance raising a child with academics (and/or part-time job)
6. Not knowing what they want to do and fearing their degree may not help them
7. ECONOMY
8. Having no direction or not being given any direction
9. Finding passions elsewhere that don't require a degree
10. Not feeling welcomed or academically embraced at and by their colleges and its departments, though not wanting to switch to a different department 
11. Family issues
12. Getting caught in the lifestyle of partying and alcohol drinking (and other substances)
13. Choosing to join the workforce
14. Heartache of a breakup or something like that (aw, I didn't think of that one)
15. Homesickness
16. Failing courses or failing out of college
17. Inability to receive financial aid
18. Academic interests killed due to issues, personal or school-related
19. Health issues
20. Wanting to travel/see the world 
21. Giving up
22. Knowing they're not "college-material"

    

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    THE SAD TRUTH :
    Not only are all of these factors burdening college students into dropping out of college, there is also no guarantee that even WITH an undergraduate college degree, one will get a job, thanks to our economy. Yes, with this degree, one will have more job options and a higher chance of employment, but it is now sadly becoming more common for a graduate to need to further their education to get the job they may want...or don't want, but need. And that's a lot of money.

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AND MY TRUTH :

Ever since my mother would bring my brother and I into her middle school during days that our school had off and he and I would chill in the teachers' lounge and listen to teachers complain about so-and-so or talk about grading or their personal lives, I have had respect for them, never mind the fact that my parents were teacehrs, as well. Being "behind-the-curtains" so to speak was very interesting as I grew up. You got to see the real sides of teachers, hear their stories, know that they are more than just robotic creature spouting out facts. It wasn't weird for me to see a teacher at a grocery store, in fact, my kindergarten teacher would let me hang out at her house and play with her cats and draw and stuff. Ever since a young age, I have had respect for educators and no matter what ever happens, I will always have respect for educators based on their profession, even if only that (and I've had some pretty bad teachers, as everyone has...don't get me started on my high school). And that's my truth.

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TO THE READERS :

• Have you ever thought about transferring or dropping out of the university you attend/attended? If so, why?
• Do you shame those who choose to drop out?
• What do yo think the system of higher education can do better to ensure that students do not drop out?
• Also, I found my list on a number of sites plus my own common sense, but do you have any other reasons to add?

Jessica Says: "Dr. Who:" Never Diminish, Not Appreciate, or Cast Aside Someone's Efforts

"Dr. Who"
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NEXT CONVICTION OF MINE :

As people are probably being able to figure out by now (or already know because they know me), I stand strongly by my convictions. I have also been looking into different aspects of "humanity" lately, as people have been constantly reminding me that I am human and it is okay to be human. But let's focus on something that personally heavily crosses me, as I'm sure rings true with others (and I'm sure this is an aspect of humanity that I don't think I can let go of easily, though, the next option would be to stop caring or trying): 

When my efforts are unappreciated, diminished, or put to the waste-side.

I don't know how familiar you, the reader, may be with the popular British television series "Dr. Who," but there is one episode that truly spoke to me and absolutely slaughtered my heart. I literally cried at the end (and my friend made fun of me - I'll miss our "Dr. Who" nights!).

This particular episode was about how the main characters, Amy and The Doctor, tried to save Vincent Van Gogh from committing suicide because of his inner demons, illustrated as an actual monster in the episode. 

They also tried to show and prove to him that his magnificent paintings were truly beautiful and that they would someday be appreciated by the entire world. Obviously, this show is fiction, but the message is still wonderful (and worth sharing) and they try to keep as true to the actual historic storyline as possible. Obviously, despite all of their efforts and all of Van Gogh's efforts to convince himself that his efforts are and will be truly appreciated, he still commits suicide. In life, he truly never felt as though anyone appreciated his artwork. In the episode, he only felt as though Amy and The Doctor appreciated his artwork.

Below is a video full of clips with the background music "Chances" by Athlete. I couldn't find the actual ending with this song playing (heartbreaking), but this is good enough, if not better.

I suggest watching the episode, even if you aren't a fan of "Dr. Who." This was the second episode I've ever watched and I instantly adored it.

SMALL BIO ABOUT VAN GOGH:

From this website:

"Vincent van Gogh, for whom color was the chief symbol of expression, was born in Groot-Zundert, Holland on March 30, 1853.

The son of a pastor, brought up in a religious and cultured atmosphere, Vincent was highly emotional and lacked self-confidence. Between 1860 and 1880, when he finally decided to become an artist, van Gogh had had two unsuitable and unhappy romances and had worked unsuccessfully as a clerk in a bookstore, an art salesman, and a preacher in the Borinage (a dreary mining district in Belgium), where he was dismissed for overzealousness. 

He remained in Belgium to study art, determined to give happiness by creating beauty. The works of his early Dutch period are somber-toned, sharply lit, genre paintings of which the most famous is "The Potato Eaters" (1885). In that year van Gogh went to Antwerp where he discovered the works of Rubens and purchased many Japanese prints.

In 1886 he went to Paris to join his brother Théo, the manager of Goupil's gallery. In Paris, van Gogh studied with Cormon, inevitably met Pissarro, Monet, and Gauguin, and began to lighten his very dark palette and to paint in the short brushstrokes of the Impressionists. His nervous temperament made him a difficult companion and night-long discussions combined with painting all day undermined his health. He decided to go south to Arles where he hoped his friends would join him and help found a school of art. Gauguin did join him but with disastrous results. Near the end of 1888, an incident led Gauguin to ultimately leave Arles. Van Gogh pursued him with an open razor, was stopped by Gauguin, but ended up cutting a portion of his own ear lobe off. Van Gogh then began to alternate between fits of madness and lucidity and was sent to the asylum in Saint-Remy for treatment. 

In May of 1890, he seemed much better and went to live in Auvers-sur-Oise under the watchful eye of Dr. Gachet. Two months later he was dead, having shot himself "for the good of all." During his brief career he had sold one painting. Van Gogh's finest works were produced in less than three years in a technique that grew more and more impassioned in brushstroke, in symbolic and intense color, in surface tension, and in the movement and vibration of form and line. Van Gogh's inimitable fusion of form and content is powerful; dramatic, lyrically rhythmic, imaginative, and emotional, for the artist was completely absorbed in the effort to explain either his struggle against madness or his comprehension of the spiritual essence of man and nature."

(I personally do not believe he killed himself. Just do some research on the topic.)

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JESSICA SAYS :

I know this entire thing is really a "Jessica Says" post, but I really want to emphasize the fact that I do my best to never diminish someone else's efforts and I hate it when I accidentally do. I cannot stand crossing my own convictions, let alone someone saying that I have, even if I haven't. If I have, however, I do own up to it and watch these convictions become even stronger. And if I haven't, it's far more detrimental than unappreciated efforts.

Anywho, I believe that no one should ever diminish or throw away someone else's efforts. I don't think people realize how truly detrimental that can be to the well-being of people. Imagine working so hard at something and then suddenly all of your efforts mean absolutely nothing. It's devastatingly heartbreaking. 

And sometimes people, like Van Gogh, do take it to heart. And then their heart stops beating.

I think people should be careful with others' well-beings and everything that encompasses them. I know that I prefer things very straightforward, as I do, but it doesn't mean that things I don't hurt when the things I do go unappreciated, belittled, or casted aside like they never even mattered in the first place.

Thank you to those who have always reassured me that my efforts are appreciated, though. I am truly grateful for that reassurance.

"Starry Night"
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TO THE READERS :

• How do you feel when your efforts are diminished, unappreciated, or thrown away?
• How do you think others can learn to appreciate others' efforts for what they are?
• Have you ever seen this beautifully heart-wrenching episode?

Dedication Post: To All My Friends Struggling Or Having Had Struggled With Alcoholism

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WHY I CARE :

For privacy reasons to protect my personal life (as well as others), I will not disclose anything extremely personal about my experiences with alcohol in the past or present. Instead, I am going to focus on those I care about who suffer or have suffered from alcoholism. Through many conversations with these people I care about and from my own experiences, we've found that there are many, many wrong things that people tend to say to those who struggle or have struggled with using alcohol as more than a "partying" means (I did a blog post about this cruel concept that you can see below). And do we believe that fair to [general] them? I do not believe so, and neither do they. As stated by one of my friends while talking to him about how he once depended on alcohol to lessen the stress and sadness in their personal life (after what someone insultingly stated one day to him):  

"You should never call someone an alcoholic if they are still struggling. And you should never EVER call someone an alcoholic if they are definitely no longer one, but obviously had past issues with alcoholism. Talk about a mental tizzy and a stab to the heart." 

This person shall remain anonymous for obvious reasons. I'm not that cruel to disclose names here.

But this friend had a very good point. I could never say something like that to anyone, regardless of my own experiences with alcohol.

***And something else to note:***

You never know WHO may have struggled with alcohol or is struggling with alcohol. Just like you never know who may be struggling or have struggled with bulimia or cutting or bruising or drugs or whatever else. I believe it's best for people to just not judge because one may end up doing far more harm than good, even if it's completely unintentional. The world would be a much better place if people chose to embrace people instead of label them. (ooo I hate labels)

As I posted in my "Can People Please Cool It With The Butterbeer Puns?" blog post from February 7, 2012 about actor Daniel Radcliffe's struggle with alcoholism because of his addictive personality, it's not a very kind thing to make fun of someone for feeling as though alcohol is their "turn-to" means of finding solace. As stated in that post, he no longer resorts to such means, has a loving girlfriend, obviously a TON of money, and has been alcohol-free for a very long time. I have a great deal of respect for him for stepping forward and bringing light to a situation he went through so others may not go through it either (oh the power of celebrity and role model-ism).

But seriously, kudos, Mr. Radcliffe.

(The post is worth reading)

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WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR A YEAR :

 Help my friends who are struggling or still struggling, though I know I've helped a few. Try to show them that they can talk out their problems with me, even if they think my words are mud. Or they may not be. But I'm happy to state that I have generally been my group of friends' DW - meaning "Designated Walker" for a WHILE now. And I don't mind that at all. I'd rather my friends be safe than lying on their backs in the sewers or something. Or seeing some interesting photographs on social media (*cue regrets*). And it's one thing to go to the local bar than it is to drink alone in a darkened room for reasons other than chillaxin' reasons. Or at least, I believe so. Perhaps I am wrong there. I don't know, this is a blog, these are all of my opinions!

And why a year?

That's personal.

Le drink of choice at the moment
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YES, I DO ENJOY A DRINK :

As one of my friends says (based off of "My Drunk Kitchen" - inside joke opportunity!): let's be real for a moment: Regardless of what I've personally gone through with alcohol whether it be good or bad, yes, I do enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time. I am 21, after all and have been since February 28th. I'd like to suggest that people should be careful (especially if heredity plays a factor), though however much one wants to drink is their business. I will, however, do my best to ensure that anyone I drink with drinks reasonably to their heart's content. And if they over-drink, then I will remain with them until they've sobered up. That's just how it goes for me. And I don't mind.

And no judgement or shade casted onto those who use alcohol for whatever means. I cannot judge you. I can only wish for your safety and allow you to know that I am always available to talk to 
(preferably not in a blog post comment, but if I know you personally, feel free to text or FB p/m me. If I do not now you personally - since I am expanding the audience this blog reaches - feel free to p/m me on my Facebook Page or Twitter Account).

Dedicated to all of you who are suffering or have suffered from alcoholism.

My thoughts are with you.

And be safe!

xx

(Where was THIS for my neon-themed newsletter?)
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TO THE READERS :

• Have you ever accidentally insulted someone with a past issue (of something) without knowing it, but later finding out you insulted them?
• What do you think these sorts of slips do mentally to someone?
• What's your preferred drink? 

~xxj

Jessica Says: Dedication Post To A Relative...

No need for an Image Source caption! Tis a bad webcam photo of me, obviously!

 THANK YOU :

I don’t even know where to begin, but I definitely know that I sadly cannot begin to express the insanely grand amount of gratitude I have for you for always constantly and willingly being there to support me and read my emails, from high school to now - and as you know, most of them are not full of rainbows and ponies - even though you are physically 30 hours away from me (living in the most beautiful country on the planet). I’m pretty sure that’s how long it would take to get there, right? Anyway, it has always been so amazing that you’ve always responded to them even though I know how incredibly busy you are with all of the many, MANY things happening in your life, personal and career-wise. Seriously, like I’ve said many times before, I don’t know how you do it. I’d go absolutely insane! But good on ya!

I appreciate your awesome amount of support with everything, even though I still feel as though I still and have yet to be able to express how much I appreciate everything you've done for me - especially with all that has been happening in my collegiate life, from Move-In Day freshman year, to everything this past semester. You’ve been SO awesome to read (as recently calculated) 100,323 words of this past semester's ~15-part email thread. 12 point font, Times New Roman, single space, as well. Nearly almost as much as one would need for the beginning of their PhD. Almost enough for a novel! Literally!...though it has been months' worth of writing (just trying to not sound conceited here).

Regardless, that is a LOT to read and you always did and you always responded with your honest opinions and suggestions, which I am so grateful for. It is so wonderful to know that you supported, support, and will support my decisions, emotions, and well-being as a relative, student, writer, and human being, regardless of what the situation may be.

Thank you so incredibly much. So so so so so so so much. I know a blog post isn’t much and that my other originally poetic idea was much more awesome, but I just wanted to publicly thank you here, for any and all to see.

You are an amazing, supportive, and kind person -  and honestly one of the select few in my “family” that I truly consider family.

~

Much love, as always,
jess

Penguin chick is happy to have you in her life
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LESLIE KNOPE WON COUNSELWOMAN...Spoiler Alert, BTW.

Leslie winning 2012 Pawnee City Counselwoman
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Jessica Says: Why I Hate The American Dream of the White-Picket-Fence Lifestyle

Cue the creepy perfect house background music
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WHY THIS IS ON MY MIND :

My brother and I recently went food shopping at the nearest grocery store for me since I have moved out of my college dorm and now am back at my parents' house. We left our perfect-looking house in the perfect-looking bubble/housing development with the perfect-looking families walking up and down the sidewalks, kids, dogs, parents, and all. I tend to keep my blinds closed at my parents' house because the view bothers me. At the grocery store, everywhere I turned there was a mother holding her child's hand, a father talking to his daughter in the child seat of the cart, children and parents everywhere. They probably live in these little perfect bubbles with their 9-5 jobs, steady income, pretty marriage bands, non-dysfunctional families, and happiness.

But that's just boring.

And typical
.

The American dream right there for you, guys. Doesn't everyone just want that?

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GET READY FOR A REAL MOMENT :

Fuck that. 

See, no censoring there.

How do people happily strive for this progression in life? Be born, go to school, then college, then get a job, then marriage, then kids, retirement, and ta da, death! I know that there are many things that happen in between, but why do people so readily strive to settle down or follow this beaten-down path countless have sauntered down before? I actually considered dropping out of college for a while to go pursue something not on this progression because it's something I wanted to do. Something different. I know many people around my age (21) who already have children and spouses/fiances. Have people really given up on finding another "American dream" or are people just willing to settle down with the very old-fashioned American dream? I personally don't follow any "dream," I just live my own and see where it takes me (though it is still heavily constricted at the moment with still living at my parents' house). And it'll always be an in-progress sort of thing until I die because well, you can't dream if you're dead.

But really, I mean, okay, if you want to settle down early in life, all right. That's your decision. But I'm not planning on doing that or if I do, I won't do it in such a....creepily "perfect-family/house/whatever" sort of way. I like to be different than others and live my life differently than others. I believe I do, as well. I'm sure my friends can reassure you that I am not the typical female college student. 

But anyway, you probably think I'm just being pessimistic or defiant, right?

D'awww, spooning
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WRONG! AND HERE'S WHY : 

Though I don't entirely believe in marriage, if I find someone someday and that would make him happy and I begin to admire that idea, then I'd obviously do my best to make him happy; I'm chill with a "long-term" label, though I don't really like labels. Though I don't entirely want children (cue shutter), if my opinions entirely change one day about this with someone I love (why am I talking about this stuff? What's happening to me? Friggin humanity, silence yourself for a bit...another shout out to some awesome people on this blog post here), then it'd be an option. Though I don't entirely believe in the "perfect house," ... nah, I think that's one that I really don't want to happen. You can live in a perfect house without living in a housing development where everywhere you turn are all of these similar, perfect houses. Ick. I'll skip on that. But a house could be nice...though my eyes are currently set on apartments or something. I'd love a mansion with secret passage ways and a swimming-pool-like underground system of tube-like passage ways to get from one area to another. That'd be so cool. Or creepy. It'd also be cool to have themed rooms...like one could be a pirate room and have a legit pirate ship in it that sways in the water. Another could be a forest with a ceiling that had actual constellations. How awesome would that be? It'd be a lot of cleaning, though. Wow rambling...anyway...

I don't know. Maybe I'm weird. But I don't like doing things the way everyone else does things. When my BlackBerry Curve died, I replaced it with an iPhone because BBs are apparently dying. The very last day I had to switch my phone for something else, I did, and I chose the new BlackBerry Bold. I hated the iPhone for many reasons, but I really hated being a part of some cult. EVERYONE HAS AN IPHONE and why? Most I know complain about them.

So I hope people aren't offended. If you want to live this "perfect life" that we've all been spoon-fed to believe is actually perfect and will make you the happiest person on the planet, then feel free. But I don't follow any guidelines. I do what I do and I don't care if someone has a problem with what I do. I break and will continue to break societal norms because that's just how I am. I'm stubborn and different and proud of those things, even if they get me into trouble. I think people should try to stop worrying about trying to be like everyone else and just be themselves, though I know some groups are working on allowing their own lifestyles to be acceptable in society.

I really believe there is so much more out there than people even care to see or want to see in their lifetimes.

I wonder if this will be the last blog post for a while. Hm.

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TO THE READERS:

• What's the American Dream for you? Does it even exist or are you like me and just follow your own to the extent that you can?
• What do you think about breaking societal norms?
• Why do you think so many people are content with following the American Dream?