Jessica Says: Passions Can and Do, Indeed, Wilt

Pretty White Oleanders' Image Source

ANOTHER SIMPLE SENTIMENT:

(A video for lovely background music and the soundtrack that started my passion and once-pursuit for film composition; "Death" by Danny Elfman from "Edward Scissorhands;" don't look too much into the title of the song, I just feel this beautifully heart-wrenching piece is perfect for this post.) 

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Hello, kind readers:

My previous blog post should have been a larger red-flag for me than it was (as noted by my kind friends), but I think my mind was very unwilling to accept what appears to be absolute truth now. Absolute, disappointing, and disheartening truth.

I think I have now accepted that my passion for creative writing will continue to wilt, as it has been doing so for some time now, though what really made me realize this truth was when I attempted to write a humorous, yet flowery, short story of the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies colliding in 4 billion years as a "creative assignment" for my summer Astronomy class, but I just couldn't write. I had several ideas (as who can't love a made up humorous story a galactical war with human-like furious faces?), but  

I. couldn't. write. a. single. sentence. 

Not without other thoughts coming to surface and making it impossible to complete a sentence. I even tried to write a simple poem. Even a short one, but I couldn't.

Even this blog post is very difficult to write, on so many levels.
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I'm very disappointed about that. Actually, scratch that. I am SO incredibly disappointed, upset, discouraged, and hurt, as my passion for creative writing had somewhat recently been revived after chilling in the dugout for about 5 years while music composition took highest priority. But I wanted to at least compose a public blog post thanking those who have always unconditionally supported my dreams of becoming a successful creative writer, if this passion does not revive. I appreciate those whom have supported my poems, short stories, and novels ever since middle school. I also appreciate those whom have supported my prior dream of becoming a successful film composer, though for many reasons I will not disclose here, I chose to pursue creative writing instead.

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Ever since middle school when I began to craft an image for a combination of my music, my literature, and my art, I realized that I am an entirely creativity-fueled person. Everyone I've grown up with and now know, knows this notion to be very true. However, I do not know how much I will now write or attempt to publish under my legal name or my pseudonym, Jessica Anastasia, now, just as I write infinitely less music than before (last complete composition is dated as being uploaded on August 20, 2011 on my website...yikes). 

For those interested in my literary works, I do hope to finish a currently untitled novel that I've been working on for a while as well as my highly-hyped up supernatural/thriller (or horror?)/psychological thriller fictional short story "Hillcrest Manor," as I've told a handful people of it about seven months ago after waking up from a nightmare and quickly jotting everything down I could remember (gotta love when your sleeping mind comes up with full stories for you). I still believe it is a brilliant idea with a hauntingly beautiful message at the end. (Maybe I just have to keep reminding myself of that so I can actually complete it...or maybe my friends should pester me more ;]) I have also written a handful of "new" poems that range from being written weeks ago to months ago that I believe are "Jessica Anastasia"-label-worthy. 

For those interested in my musical works, as always, I do hope to complete something at some point in time. I have a select few ideas that focus around the poems mentioned above, as well as "Hillcrest Manor." (I wish I could write piano sheet music better.)

*Cough Jessica Anastasia Official Website Cough*

(Trying to keep some humor here, as this post does not focus on a happy topic.)

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Thank you to all of the people in my life who have supported, embraced, and praised my creative talents, no matter how they've been affected or altered or whatever by me or any outside forces. Stating as myself and my image (which I generally don't do for protective reasons), your encouraging support has always been and will always be appreciated, no matter what happens, though I truly do hope that this passion can be revived once again.

I will be monitoring comments on this post because I do not believe I am entirely protected here with my words even though this is technically a blog, so please do be careful with your words, intentions, and language.
Even if I think you are an awesome person, if you cannot kindly adhere to what I wrote above for my own safety, your comment will be deleted. But please keep in mind that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the comment any less. I'll probably P/M you and ask you to rephrase your words :)

As stated in my prior post, 

Till 'Til next I write and next you read,

or perhaps this is our bittersweet adieu between writer and reader,
thanks to those who have read my words.
And be true to yourself, as I am to myself. 

~xxj

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 (Chopin's relaxing 21st Nocturne)

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SMALL UPDATE :

July 7, 2012

I'm not really updating to say that I've picked up the pen, or opened Word, or anything of the sort, but as I enjoy enlightening people with things that I find beautiful, or interesting, or worth-while, I wanted to share the existence of a wonderful novel called "White Oleander," by Janet Fitch. I haven't read for pure entertainment since the final Harry Potter book, but I need something to do to pass the time these days, and this is the fourth book I've read this summer so far.

As I've been a tremendous adorer of the movie of the same name (it's one of my favorites, as well as "Girl, Interrupted), I decided to look into the novel. I'm only at the beginning, but while reading, I remembered that I put a picture of white oleanders above this public letter. They are my favorite flowers, and a lot because of what they stand for in this movie and book.

I just wanted to share this:

And another thanks to those who've left comments for me about this, as well as those who've contacted me through other means to express your feelings. Your words are ever appreciated xx 
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JESSICA ANASTASIA UPDATE:
Though there have been no new additions to Jessica Anastasia's collections of music, literature, or art, she has updated her official website to include an (incomplete) listing of her literature (short fiction, poetry, and novel), listing of information on About page (Overview, Biography, Upcoming Projects), upgraded Arts page to better display photography and sketches, upgraded Contact page (it's pretty), upgraded Updates page (it's also pretty), and added background music throughout some pages - all utilizing a few new features on the WIX website.

As Jessica Anastasia needs view counts for her account on .tk (a free website-hosting service), please feel free to check it out if you stumble upon this blog post xx

Jessica Anastasia - Composer of Music and Literature Official Website